This and That
by HowManyRoads
Summary: Max decides he wants to have a little chat with Clary and Jace...


**This has been sitting on my computer for months and I've only just remembered to put it up now ;p**

**so basically I was thinking to myself: _What is the most awkward situation I could put our favourite insestuous couple in?_**

**And thus, this one shot was born. Enjoy!!!**

**Disclaimer: So the powers of positive thinking seem to have failed me this time in that I have not miraculously become Cassandra Clare. Funny that.**

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_**THIS**_** AND **_**THAT**_

"_We look before and after,  
And pine for what is not:  
Our sincerest laughter  
With some pain is fraught;  
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought." _

_- Percy Bysshe Shelley_

Clary sat upon one of the comfortable couches of the institute's library, although, she felt decidedly anything but. She threw a furtive glance to her right at Jace who sat at the opposite end of the couch, carefully avoiding her gaze. His face was calm, emotionless as ever. However, his body language betrayed him. He sat rigid on the edge of the sofa, his hands knotted in his lap. He clearly felt just as uncomfortable as she.

Clary returned her gaze to Max, who sat in an armchair he had dragged into a position opposite the couch. She wondered again why the youngest Lightwood had wanted to talk to her and Jace about _this. _His parents were out of town on "important Shadowhunter business" but Alec and Isabelle were there, and surely they would be a more appropriate choice for talking about _this. _Max was _their_ brother after all. She decided to voice her concerns aloud.

"Isabelle has locked herself in her room. She's not talking to anyone," he answered. "She's still pining over that fairy boy." He said this in a tone so like Jace's that Clary was sure Max had heard him say it and then repeated it. She doubted he even knew what _pining _meant. She made a mental note to check on Isabelle when _this _was over (which hopefully would be soon) as Max continued his explanation

"...And Jace, you know a lot more about _this stuff _than Alec does." Jace smirked at the second half of this sentence while Clary frowned at the first. She silently chastised herself. _He's your brother. Brother, brother, brother. You shouldn't care how much he knows about _this _stuff. _She shook her head, as if she could dislodge the thoughts that berated her, and asked the second question that was nagging at her.

"Max, if Jace is as... _experienced_ as you say he is," Clary began, managing to keep most of the scorn out of her voice. _Most of it_. "Then why do you need me?" She finished.

"Because I need a..." he searched for the appropriate phrase, "a feminine perceptive," he stated with a grin, clearly pleased with this display of his vocabulary.

"Feminine _perspective," _Jace corrected.

"Yeah," agreed the young boy, unperturbed. "That's what I said."

Jace rolled his eyes then let out a sigh, "so what do you want to know?"

Clary groaned inwardly, realising that any chance shed had at a reprieve had been quashed.

Max grinned eagerly, as though all his Christmases had come at once. He then leaned forward, gazing intently at the two Shadowhunters opposite him and asked, "So what exactly _is_ sex?"

Clary's breath hitched in her throat for a second. "It, ahh..." She threw a desperate glance at the blonde Shadowhunter to her right, her eyes pleading for help. Jace just smirked, clearly enjoying her discomfort.

"Well, you see," she continued slowly, "when two people... are in love" she groaned inwardly-_I sound like an after school special-_"and they want to show each other how much they love them they decide to," she grimaced, "have sex."

Max's eyes were wide and bright as he absorbed all of this. "So," he concluded, "it's how you show someone you love them." He gazed expectantly up at Clary, like a school child who wanted to be told he had done well in a test.

"Ahh... Yes." She agreed. "But only when your much older," she added earnestly. Max nodded, accepting this, then returned Clary's earnest expression. His gaze flickered between her and Jace.

"So, have you two had sex?"

Clary felt her eyes fly wide open. Out of the corner of them, she saw Jace's jaw drop. She felt her throat close up. "Max!" she choked out. "We're brother and sister!" _Was he really that perceptive? He seemed intelligent for his age but..._

"Huh?" Max's eyebrows drooped down in a frown that bespoke his innocence. Realisation broke across his face, quickly followed by horror. "What? No! Not with each other. That would be..." he screwed up his nose and poked out his tongue, clearly displaying what he thought _that _old be like.

Clary laughed, relieved, though there was no humour in it. "Well, ahh... no I haven't," she confessed, looking at her hands, knotted in her lap, feeling rather exposed. Max nodded, accepting this, then turned to Jace expectantly.

"Yea, me neither," he said, trying for nonchalance and only narrowly failing. Clary felt her jaw drop as she gawked at Jace. _Never? Jace has never done it? _She searched his face for some indication that he was lying, or that this was his idea of a joke. It was the slight red tinge staining his cheeks that convinced Clary he was telling the truth; Jace never blushed. He had also never had sex either, apparently. Clary took a deep and, she tried to tell herself, _irrational _satisfaction from this.

Max sat in silence for a few moments, a thoughtful expression o his face. "Because you've never been in love," he surmised.

Clary's eyes flickered without volition to the golden haired boy beside her. He too seemed to have lost momentary control of his body. He locked onto her gaze. For a moment green eyes gazed intently into gold, and gold into green.

Jace was the first to break the connection. He turned back to Max and shrugged, his emotionless mask back in place. "Any more questions?"

The boy nodded and thought for a moment. Clary could tell he was mentally flicking through questions, choosing which were the best to ask.

They sat in silence a few seconds longer. _ Exactly how many questions does he have?_

Max smiled at them, clearly having chosen the best question to ask. "What is a g-spot, and where can I find one?"

Clary was glad of the turn of the conversation. It was a good distraction from _that._

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**Hope you liked it! even if you didn't go ahead and review!**

**especially if you noticed some spelling/grammar mistakes (",)**

**be as ruthless as you like. i'm big enough and ugly enough to take it ;p  
**

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**I know, right? Don't you just wanna do it now?  
**


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